Vigmitstig Sismutcid is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, all-knowing chicken.

Vigmitstig Sismutcid created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vigmitstig Sismutcid, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vigmitstig Sismutcid, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vigmitstig Sismutcid's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vigmitstig Sismutcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never hurt monkeys.

4. You must love Vigmitstig Sismutcid.

5. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Vigmitstig Sismutcid in the centre of the settlement.