Bambessan is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, flying gorilla.

Bambessan created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Bambessan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bambessan, he will laugh at you.

Bambessan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bambessan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near birds while wearing purple shirts.

3. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Respect your elders.