Pangspaglakfutfemcab is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, omniscient snail.

Pangspaglakfutfemcab created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangspaglakfutfemcab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pangspaglakfutfemcab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Pangspaglakfutfemcab's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Pangspaglakfutfemcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.