Vanfonfidrowjabgomlisttail is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unjust dryad.

Vanfonfidrowjabgomlisttail created the Sol system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vanfonfidrowjabgomlisttail, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vanfonfidrowjabgomlisttail, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Vanfonfidrowjabgomlisttail's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vanfonfidrowjabgomlisttail's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snails.

2. Always obey Vanfonfidrowjabgomlisttail's priests.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.