Bafzagwik is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous human.

Bafzagwik created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafzagwik, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bafzagwik, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bafzagwik's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bafzagwik's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bafzagwik.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Never paint your legs green.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Respect your elders.