Shavkimfom is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent newt.

Shavkimfom created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavkimfom, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Shavkimfom, she will turn you into a puffin.

Shavkimfom's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Shavkimfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near seals while wearing violet shorts.