Wapbomlab is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, witty slug.

Wapbomlab created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapbomlab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wapbomlab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wapbomlab's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Wapbomlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck black.

2. Never laugh in the presence of nematodes.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.