Rutwignutt Mumquatpas is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unfair donkey.

Rutwignutt Mumquatpas created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutwignutt Mumquatpas, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Rutwignutt Mumquatpas, she will turn you into a hamster.

Rutwignutt Mumquatpas' most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Rutwignutt Mumquatpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Rutwignutt Mumquatpas must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always obey Rutwignutt Mumquatpas' priests.

5. Always take life seriously.