Matcedmit Futcudhas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage lizard.

Matcedmit Futcudhas created a top quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matcedmit Futcudhas, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Matcedmit Futcudhas, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Matcedmit Futcudhas' most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Matcedmit Futcudhas' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Hide from pink shrews for they are unholy.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Always help rats in need.