Jenlapdog is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, fast wombat.

Jenlapdog created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenlapdog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jenlapdog, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Jenlapdog's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Jenlapdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick ducks.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Put Jenlapdog first in all things.

4. Always help turtles in need.

5. Never paint your neck mauve.