Titcadcap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented mink.

Titcadcap created matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titcadcap, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Titcadcap, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Titcadcap's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Titcadcap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.