Villopyok Dodstipteen is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unfair clam.

Villopyok Dodstipteen created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Villopyok Dodstipteen, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Villopyok Dodstipteen, he will make you grow a tail.

Villopyok Dodstipteen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Villopyok Dodstipteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about fire.