Titmipdit Bapfagneg is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, annoying shrew.

Titmipdit Bapfagneg created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titmipdit Bapfagneg, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Titmipdit Bapfagneg, he will send you a sign.

Titmipdit Bapfagneg's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Titmipdit Bapfagneg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Titmipdit Bapfagneg on top of all buildings.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.