Artruttgud Kikyikvin is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sapient walrus.

Artruttgud Kikyikvin created the Sun two years ago.

If you believe in Artruttgud Kikyikvin, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Artruttgud Kikyikvin, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Artruttgud Kikyikvin's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Artruttgud Kikyikvin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Never feed lots of beans to doves while wearing fawn rings.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never hop near sheep.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.