Ortbitkap is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, fussy dragon.

Ortbitkap created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbitkap, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortbitkap, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ortbitkap's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ortbitkap's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry ducks.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. You must love Ortbitkap.

4. Never hurt snails.

5. Do not drink alcohol.