Cumbessflan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, emotional chinchilla.

Cumbessflan created energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Cumbessflan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Cumbessflan, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cumbessflan's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Cumbessflan's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from gray sheep for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about spacetime near eagles while wearing yellow tights and balancing eight titanium spheres on your arms.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

5. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.