Zakvagpag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, idiotic goose.

Zakvagpag created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakvagpag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zakvagpag, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Zakvagpag's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Zakvagpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Never talk about archaea.

3. Never wear kilts.

4. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Zakvagpag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.