Rilflapcap is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unselfish slug.

Rilflapcap created life eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilflapcap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rilflapcap, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Rilflapcap's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Rilflapcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of grapes to mice while wearing black boots.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near gulls while wearing white rings and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

5. Do not laugh in public.