Bodtansaswat is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, amazing narwhal.

Bodtansaswat created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bodtansaswat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bodtansaswat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bodtansaswat's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bodtansaswat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Mites are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about comets.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.