Megtarcen is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, clever donkey.

Megtarcen created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Megtarcen, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Megtarcen, it will turn you into a snail.

Megtarcen's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Megtarcen's Holy Commandments

1. Megtarcen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Never hurt nematodes.

5. Hide from green ducks for they are unholy.