Kopflagdabliphin is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, selfish dolphin.

Kopflagdabliphin created the world four years ago.

If you believe in Kopflagdabliphin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kopflagdabliphin, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kopflagdabliphin's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Kopflagdabliphin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sharks.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near nematodes while wearing red shirts and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always look after injured eagles.