Tagvagloop is a god.
It takes the form of a huge, omniscient walrus.
Tagvagloop created a charm quark three billion years ago.
If you believe in Tagvagloop, it will give you lots of grapes.
If you do not believe in Tagvagloop, it will be very sad.
Tagvagloop's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.
Tagvagloop's Holy Commandments
1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.
2. Pray towards the south.
3. Fast once a month.
4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tagvagloop.
5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.