Gadrullkap is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, fussy lobster.

Gadrullkap created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadrullkap, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gadrullkap, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gadrullkap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gadrullkap's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Worship no other gods but Gadrullkap.