Nullpincub is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, unthinking tortoise.

Nullpincub created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullpincub, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nullpincub, it will turn you into a goat.

Nullpincub's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Nullpincub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Nullpincub must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Never write about archaea.