Arfyimbif is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, deceitful camel.

Arfyimbif created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfyimbif, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Arfyimbif, he will turn you into a puffin.

Arfyimbif's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Arfyimbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near snakes.

2. Do not speak about parsnips.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Erect three platinum sculptures of Arfyimbif on top of important buildings.