Quamfudtig is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, contented faun.

Quamfudtig created Mount Everest three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamfudtig, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quamfudtig, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quamfudtig's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Quamfudtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always help ducks in need.