Cuthogbin is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage squirrel.

Cuthogbin created light nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cuthogbin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cuthogbin, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Cuthogbin's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Cuthogbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy.

2. Hide if nine eagles approach from the east.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near whales while wearing mauve corsets.

4. Do not take Cuthogbin's name in vain.

5. Do not drink alcohol.