Cabvigfarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, duplicitous narwhal.

Cabvigfarn created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cabvigfarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cabvigfarn, she will boil you in a big pot.

Cabvigfarn's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Cabvigfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat gulls with great respect.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Cabvigfarn in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cabvigfarn.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.