Bonkhogfed is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever wombat.

Bonkhogfed created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkhogfed, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonkhogfed, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bonkhogfed's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bonkhogfed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Never think about dark matter near dolphins while wearing fawn boots and balancing eight platinum spheres on your back.

4. Never think ill of sick gulls.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near frogs while wearing blue rings and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.