Mabguptonk is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, omniscient dugong.

Mabguptonk created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabguptonk, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mabguptonk, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Mabguptonk's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Mabguptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Never feed pineapples to badgers while wearing hats.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Respect your elders.