Shavjenqueegnad is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, thoughtless swan.

Shavjenqueegnad created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavjenqueegnad, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Shavjenqueegnad, she will turn you into a goat.

Shavjenqueegnad's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Shavjenqueegnad's Holy Commandments

1. Shavjenqueegnad loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not hurt whales.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Gulls are not to be trusted.