Stafpagtetti is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable guinea pig.

Stafpagtetti created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafpagtetti, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stafpagtetti, it will destroy your home solar system.

Stafpagtetti's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Stafpagtetti's Holy Commandments

1. Stafpagtetti loves foxes, so they must be respected.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. You must love Stafpagtetti.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.