Flaprakstikquillsterquatweetag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, moody rat.

Flaprakstikquillsterquatweetag created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaprakstikquillsterquatweetag, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flaprakstikquillsterquatweetag, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Flaprakstikquillsterquatweetag's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Flaprakstikquillsterquatweetag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Erect a giant white sculpture of Flaprakstikquillsterquatweetag in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never feed lots of gooseberries to foxes while wearing pink boots.

5. Never play with disobedient children.