Fumpodvin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, overgenerous tapir.

Fumpodvin created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumpodvin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fumpodvin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Fumpodvin's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Fumpodvin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never eat bark.