Cussarttap Gonlimhin Yarlafkan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, prudent donkey.

Cussarttap Gonlimhin Yarlafkan created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cussarttap Gonlimhin Yarlafkan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cussarttap Gonlimhin Yarlafkan, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Cussarttap Gonlimhin Yarlafkan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Cussarttap Gonlimhin Yarlafkan's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cussarttap Gonlimhin Yarlafkan nine times a day.

2. Never talk about dolphins.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Always help porpoises in need.

5. Never write about nebulae.