Bimfaslik Funpinfit is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, awesome wolf.

Bimfaslik Funpinfit created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimfaslik Funpinfit, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bimfaslik Funpinfit, she will turn you into a sheep.

Bimfaslik Funpinfit's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bimfaslik Funpinfit's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never feed lots of parsnips to tapirs while wearing pink boots.