Tifjapvil is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous wyrm.

Tifjapvil created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifjapvil, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tifjapvil, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tifjapvil's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tifjapvil's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five bats approach from the north.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never hurt ants.

5. Always treat snakes with great respect.