Yimtimgepwitlikhabtif is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless jackal.

Yimtimgepwitlikhabtif created everything that exists three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yimtimgepwitlikhabtif, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yimtimgepwitlikhabtif, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yimtimgepwitlikhabtif's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Yimtimgepwitlikhabtif's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not wear purple clothing.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Never talk about dark matter.