Barnsoghogcam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, loving donkey.

Barnsoghogcam created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnsoghogcam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Barnsoghogcam, he will remove you from existence.

Barnsoghogcam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Barnsoghogcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt great tits.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing six zinc spheres on your head.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never feed rice to seals while wearing shoes.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.