Tifcemtin is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, awesome manatee.

Tifcemtin created Mount Everest twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tifcemtin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Tifcemtin, it will be mildly annoyed.

Tifcemtin's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Tifcemtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Never talk about special relativity near goats while wearing orange hats and balancing three nickel spheres on your legs.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never pour water over plants.