Fitgenlogbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish crow.

Fitgenlogbarn created the planet Jupiter two years ago.

If you believe in Fitgenlogbarn, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitgenlogbarn, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Fitgenlogbarn's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fitgenlogbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six seals approach from the north.

2. Always help sick grasshopers.

3. Fitgenlogbarn loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fitgenlogbarn.