Kemtikrill is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, caring crab.

Kemtikrill created the Sol system three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemtikrill, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kemtikrill, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Kemtikrill's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kemtikrill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics near otters while wearing turquoise corsets.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never pour water over plants.