Jonzedfig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, unfair butterfly.

Jonzedfig created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Jonzedfig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jonzedfig, it will turn you into a rat.

Jonzedfig's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Jonzedfig's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jonzedfig.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Put Jonzedfig first in all things.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.