Bopafdid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic giraffe.

Bopafdid created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bopafdid, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bopafdid, she will jump up and down on your head.

Bopafdid's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Bopafdid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if eight mites approach from the west.

3. Never leap in holy places.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.