Gessnibhak Mabmutdib Arpjarnmis is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, happy gerbil.

Gessnibhak Mabmutdib Arpjarnmis created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessnibhak Mabmutdib Arpjarnmis, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gessnibhak Mabmutdib Arpjarnmis, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gessnibhak Mabmutdib Arpjarnmis' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Gessnibhak Mabmutdib Arpjarnmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed apples to hamsters while wearing brown dresses.

2. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the west.

3. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Gessnibhak Mabmutdib Arpjarnmis in the centre of the settlement.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.