Nabvonktun is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unselfish beaver.

Nabvonktun created the planet Earth three billion years ago.

If you believe in Nabvonktun, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nabvonktun, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nabvonktun's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nabvonktun's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nabvonktun.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Run away from fawn great tits, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.