Yartpitpod is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, generous dugong.

Yartpitpod created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartpitpod, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Yartpitpod, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yartpitpod's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yartpitpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never eat green fruit.