Mitkipxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, weak pigeon.

Mitkipxuc created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mitkipxuc, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitkipxuc, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Mitkipxuc's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Mitkipxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mitkipxuc.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

4. Never laugh near gulls.

5. Never write about moons.