Hendabsingil is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, vain pig.

Hendabsingil created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hendabsingil, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Hendabsingil, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Hendabsingil's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hendabsingil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

4. Retreat if six goats approach from the east.

5. Always stare at clouds.