Baftabhab is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, weak finch.

Baftabhab created the Sol system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baftabhab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Baftabhab, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Baftabhab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Baftabhab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near doves while wearing fawn tights and balancing six silicon spheres on your hands.